But hes in my custody now. With the birth of the destructive Ultron and the addition of three new members to the Avengers team, Avengers: Age of Ultron still managed to pack in plenty of laughs. Free Daily Quotes. Was it funny? Im listening.Dr. Take special care, I doubt if humans can keep her at bay! Great plan.Dr. How are you? This a tremendous idea! Its not. Tom Swanson. Oh, thats right, yes, go cry to your father, you little weasel! Its so much worse., Peter Quill:You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.Rocket:Oh, it wont be my turd. Thor:[takes the headset]Noobmaster, hey, its Thor again. Steve Rogers: Taller." " Peggy Carter: You can't give me orders! "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success." Here are some inspiring Marvel quotes from Marvel Studios that will awaken the superhero in you. No, wait, whatd he look like hopping around?Peter Quill:I had to transfer him 30,000 units!Rocket Raccoon:[chittering laughter], Peter Quill:Yeah, Ill have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one.Drax:DO NOT ever call me a thesaurus.Peter Quill:Its just a metaphor, dude.Rocket Raccoon:His people are completely literal. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. I fix stuff., [Pepper uses a repulsor on Killian]Tony Stark:Honey?Pepper Potts:Oh my god that was really violent, Aldrich Killian:No more false faces You said you wanted the Mandarin? Nearly blasting me into space?Tony Stark:Who just saved your magical ass? [raises his arms as energy flows over his hands]Grandmaster:[amused]I didnt hear any thunder, but out of your fingers was that sparkles?, Thor: By Odins beard, you shall not cut my hair, lest you feel the wrath of the mighty Thor! 7 "It Doesn't Take X-Ray Vision To See You Are Up To No Good." DC Universe Online (2011) This Superman quote from DC Universe Online is a fun play on the hero's powers and the ability to see right from wrong all at once. Whats the play?Falcon:We need a diversion. And Id like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.Thor:Monkeys? Its just, its on fire., Korg:Hey, man. Its pretty freaky, but its safe. 14. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say 'No, you move'.". Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.". Let WFH jokes and boss jokes make you laugh as you begin the next chapter of your life after . 7. Peggy Carter:How do you feel?Steve Rogers:Taller., Peggy Carter:You cant give me orders!Steve Rogers:The hell I cant! You wanna get stuck reliving the same moment over and over forever or never having existed at all?Dr. To laugh, to be challenged, to be entertained, and delighted.". Sorry, I cant remember anybodys names., Bruce Banner:Whos Scott?Steve Rogers:Ant-Man.Bruce Banner:Theres an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?, Okoye:When you said you were going to open Wakanda to the rest of the world, this is not what I imagined.TChalla:What did you imagine?Okoye:The Olympics, maybe even a Starbucks., [Thor appears with Stormbreaker]Bruce Banner:[laughs with joy]You guys are so screwed now!, Steve Rogers: New haircut? These are the funniest lines from Ant-Man. They could show up any second!Hope van Dyne:Relax. Its cute.Natasha Romanoff:Its also bulletproof, which means private security, which means more guns, which means more headaches for somebody. Hank Pym:Quantum entanglement, Scott., Dr. Scott Lang:[raises hand]Excuse me, Dr. Pym?Hank Pym:You dont have to raise your hand Scott.Scott Lang:[lowers hand]Okay. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!". Its savage, chaotic, lawless. Thor:Noobmaster. Christine Palmer:What? Theodore Roosevelt. Drax's lines weren't just outright funny, they communicated to audience members that truly anyone could be a superhero. Peter wraps his arms around him]Thats not a hug, Im just grabbing the door for you., Peter Parker:Wow, theyre in the middle of a heist! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Spider-Man. Marvel Quotes. Gotta run before you can walk -Tony Stark. Sif:Betray him, and Ill kill you. Let me help! What about Thor?Nick Fury:Off-world.Peter Parker:Doctor StrangeMaria Hill:Unavailable.Peter Parker:Captain Marvel.Nick Fury:Dont you invoke her name!Peter Parker:Im just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.Nick Fury:Bitch, please! The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after. Ill go., Rocket Raccoon:Well, if fate does want you to kill that crap-sack, youre gonna need more than one stupid eyeball. I prefer you.Hulk:Banners friend.Thor:I dont even like Banner. I saved us, guys!MJ:If you saved us, why are we about to die?. I know.Wong:Well, dont stop now., Kaecilius:What is this?Dr. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better". Marvel sounds a lot better. Internet, so helpful. Here are 21 Tony Stark quotes that are both inspiring and funny. Hank Pym:Relax. Stephen Strange:They really should put the warnings before this spell., Dr. "Never forget what you are. But I had this twenty years ago when I was drunk, I can sort it out. [Back in Black by AC/DC plays]Peter Parker:Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!, Happy Hogan:Heads-up. Can you believe it? Elfheim, Nilfheim?Darcy:[frightened, pulls out a taser]New Mexico?Thor:You dare threaten Thor with such a puny weapon? Everybody has something that he wishes was not the way it is." - Stan Lee 3. No. It separates who you are from who you can be. Either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? Yes. Always hold it high. - Franklin Richards Violence doesn't discriminate. Another broken white boy for us to fix., Everett K. Ross:[after he wakes up]Is this Wakanda?Shuri:[sarcastically]No, its Kansas., MBaku:If you say one more word, Ill feed you to my children! John Wooden Graduation Quote #3: Always wear your thinking cap with your party shoes. What realm is this? These Are The 23 Funniest Lines From The Marvel Films And No One Can Tell Me Otherwise Let's relive the good times one last time. Nick Furys calling you. 10. Steve Rogers:Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really., Sam Wilson:You must miss the good old days, huh?Steve Rogers:Well, things arent so bad. See the world. "If you want to do something right, you make a list." - Scott Lang, 'Ant Man & The Wasp', 2018. Iron Man 3 (April 2013) cdn.europosters.eu "Oh, my God. [lifts his hand up]Show meHope Van Dyne:[punches Scott in the face, knocking him down]Thats how you punch., Hope Van Dyne:[to Scott]Alright, princess. Stephen Strange:Well, its everything youve ever wanted. Ive sorted out a few pieces, but its not like I can put together the same Humpty Dumpty if thats what youre asking. . 15. 1. [Ant-Man becomes giant]Spider-ManHoly shit! 6. Stephen Strange:Stark Raving Hazelnuts.Tony Stark:Not bad.Dr. Marvel Funny Captain America Civil War #saynotohydracap This man is an inspiration and a symbol of freedom and justice, and he represents our nation (I mean, for crying out loud, he's Captain AMERICA). Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Look who it is!Loki:[to himself]I have to get off this planet., [after knocking down Hulk, Thor approaches him]Thor:[copies what Black Widow used to do]Hey, big guy. Haha, dab! I tried to bench you. Use sunscreen. "Love can be defined with one word. I respect you too much.Dr. [At-Lass clamps a muzzle on Goose]Nick Fury:Its a cat, not Hannibal Lecter. Funny or Die Is Taking Over. There were lots of funny moments when so many Marvel characters finally met up though, and these are the funniest lines from Avengers: Infinity War for your reading pleasure. Loki, hes alive! Check these out: Were listing the films in chronological order of the events within the universe (rather than when they were released in real life), so of course, we need to start with Captain America! Network, network, network. Audrey Hepburn. This collection of graduation jokes will have your friends and family members in stitches the entire time. Humor Quotes 41.5k Philosophy Quotes 27.5k God Quotes 25k Inspirational Quotes Quotes 24.5k Truth Quotes 22.5k Wisdom Quotes 22k Poetry Quotes 20.5k Romance Quotes 20k Death Quotes 18.5k Happiness Quotes 18k Hope Quotes 17k Save for retirement. [Wong remains silent]Come on! We look like ourselves at a baseball game., Cassie:Dont just stand there! These are our favorite funny lines from Iron Man 3. [TChalla knocks the suit across the room]Shuri:Not that hard, genius!TChalla:You told me to strike it. I thought Id throw her a bone, you know. These are the best funny quotes from Captain America. Im gonna get some dumbbells.Rocket Raccoon:You know you cant eat dumbbells, right?Gamora:[touching Thors arms]Its like his muscles are made of Chitauri metal fibers.Peter Quill:Stop massaging his muscles., Rocket Raccoon:You speak Groot? While his journey to meet the Ancient One and master magic wasnt hilarious in itself, there were still moments to make us chuckle. Thor:Then give me one of those large enough to ride., Jane Foster:Howd you get inside that cloud?Darcy:Also, how could you eat an entire box of Pop-Tarts and still be this hungry?, Darcy:[mispronounces Mjlnir]Mew-mew? "Everyone fails at who they are supposed to be, Thor. Youre trying to tell me that this whole time, you thought Yondu was my actual blood relative?Drax:You look exactly alike!Rocket:*Ones blue! I can tell. Give me a little something-something. "Just bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage." - Erik Killmonger, 'Black Panther', 2018. [At-Lass scans Fury]Kree Computer:Species: Human Male. Put that spear in the trunk., Everett K. Ross:So this is a big mess, huh? [starts gagging]Mantis:What are you doing?Drax:Ugh Im imagining being with you physically [continues gagging]Mantis:Drax! Want more Marvel quotes? Dude! She seems kind of nice.Steve Rogers:Secure the engine room, then find me a date.Natasha Romanoff:[jumping off deck over the railings]Im multitasking., Sam Wilson:Hey, Cap, how do we know the good guys from the bad guys?Steve Rogers:If theyre shooting at you, theyre bad.. Its impressive., Tony Stark:Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?James Rhodes:No, its never come up.Tony Stark:Saved New York?James Rhodes:Never heard that., Laura:What about Nat and Dr. Stephen Strange:Try me, Beyonc. Thor:Yes, they taught it on Asgard. Its not a disguise, Hank. I do have a ride, though.Rocket:Move it or lose it, hairbag.. I mean They did teach me to tap into powers that I never even knew existed.Dr. Okay?Scott Lang:Oh, what language? Stephen Strange:No, I want to protect the stone.Tony Stark:And I want you to thank me. I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by[Hulk flattens Loki with repeated smashes into the floor]The Hulk:Puny god.. What about that girl from accounting, Laura, Lisa?Steve Rogers:Lillian. [as the guard approach them, Thor throws Loki at them, knocking them down]Thor:A classic.Loki:[gets up]I still hate it. Oprah. Maybe itll come back to me.. Youre not my friend.Thor:No, no, no. Its hers. So you joined a cult.Dr. Another!, Thor:[walking into a pet shop]I need a horse! With 23 movies so far, not to mention television shows, thats quite a lot of characters, storylines and events. [Scott just stares in awkward silence]Luis:[Suddenly enthused]But I got the van!, Scott Lang:[Demonstrating his Ant-Man suit to his crew for the first time]Now, look. Thor: Ragnarok is one of the funniest films in the MCU (in our opinion) and featured lots of hilarious lines. Hawkeye.Clint Barton:Oh. The Avengers (April 2012) www.hollywoodreporter.com "That man is playing Galaga! In Iron Man 2, Tony Stark seems to be convinced that he can save the world on his own, and he has no interest in joining Nick Fury at S.H.I.E.L.D. "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught." - Oscar Wilde 2. No. But it doesn't always roll that way. Watch. Drax: An hour. What do you say to that?Tony Stark:Absolutely ridiculous. Be happy, man. is so slow. Youve heard of this. Im a Captain! [Imitating Banner]Im into numbers and science and stuff., Thor:Youre not even listening! Call your mother. Stephen Strange:I seriously dont know how you fit your head into that helmet.Tony Stark:Admit it, you shouldve ducked out when I told you to. 3. Albert Einstein. Top 10 floors all R&D, youd love it its candyland.Bruce Banner:Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke Harlem., [after attacking Loki with full weapons activated]Tony Stark:Make a move, Reindeer Games, World Security Council:Director Fury, the council has made a decision.Nick Fury:I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that its a stupid-ass decision, Ive elected to ignore it., [Banner arrives in New York on a motorcycle just as the Chitauri have begun their attack]Bruce Banner:So this all seems horrible.Black Widow:Ive seen worse.Bruce Banner:Sorry.Black Widow:No, we could use a little worse., Loki:Enough! It is good to once again be among friends. "Welcome to the real world. [Peter looks confused]Tony Stark:Theres a little gray area in there and thats where you operate.Peter Parker:OhTony Stark:Alright? "You are graduating from. Everybody wants a happy ending, right? "The thing about new beginnings is that they require something else to end.". I dont even mate with the type of thing you are!Drax:Hey! We leave no one behind. Yondu Udonta:Were Ravagers, we got a code.Peter Quill:Yeah, and that code is: steal from everybody., Gamora:Its dangerous and illegal work, suitable only for outlaws.Peter Quill:Well, I come from a planet of outlaws: Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, John Stamos., Groot:I am Groot.Peter Quill:Well thats just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. what connection type is known as "always on"? And I went to a place called Kamar-Taj and I talked to someone called The Ancient One. And IDr. Thor:No, I didnt ride the hammer. Pepper Potts:Is this about the Avengers? Angels don't do things like deal with humans, but instead, help run the heavens and keep the Earth from imploding from apocalyptic events. Natasha Romanoff:Thor, report on the Hulk. I[Thor is knocked off the mountain by Iron Man who tackles him in mid-flight]Loki:Im listening., Steve Rogers/Captain America:Big man in a suit of armour, take that away, what are you?Tony Stark/Iron Man:Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist., Tony Stark: [about Thor] Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? That IS Americas ass., Thor:[seeing Cap wielding Mjolnir]I knew it!, Thor:[Captain America is using Stormbreaker]No, give me that. Thor:Hes adopted., Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Lets steal the biggest, most obvious ship in the universe and escape in that! [awkward silence]Talos:Am I supposed to guess where that is?Nick Fury+Carol Danvers:Your ass!, Carol Danvers:Since when is a shortcut cheating?Maria Rambeau:Since it violates the predetermined rules of engagement.Carol Danvers:I definitely dont remember those., Maria Rambeau:Can I ask you something? These are the funniest quotes from Thor: Ragnarok. Bu-But thats a good thing.Mantis:Oh?Drax:When youre ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are Beautiful people never know who to trust.Mantis:Well, then Im certainly grateful to be ugly., [about Mantis] Drax:This gross bug lady is my new friend., Mantis:[shaking Drax awake]Drax! [zaps Quill, who falls down yelling]Yeah, writhe, little man., Korath the Pursuer:You dont look like a junker. Thats not what I I dont like you like that! via GIPHY " Peggy Carter: How do you feel? Threat: Low to None.Nick Fury:That things clearly busted., Carol Danvers:Keep the Tesseract on Earth. Hes a friend from work! He raised me by hand and kept me as his own.Drax:So youre a pet.Mantis:I suppose.Drax:People usually want cute pets. [Stark rolls his eyes, while Captain America looks proud of himself]Steve Rogers:I understood that reference., Tony Stark:You should come by Stark Tower sometime. And thank you, Ant Man, for this clever and right on point analysis of the situation. Youre that spider guy from TV!Spider-Man:Call me Spider-Man.Street Vendor:Ok, Spider-Man. Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did." Tony Stark 7. Well, it probably would have hurt, right? - Gossip Girl. When Tony Stark burst onto the scene and let the world know that he was Iron Man, we all got treated to the signature wit of both Robert Downey Jr. and the character he portrayed. 59 College Graduation Gift Ideas for the Class of 2022 1. Spider-Man follows me? And theres a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere youd like to go.Christine Everheart:You must be the famous Pepper Potts.Virginia Pepper Potts:[smiles and nods]Indeed I am.Christine Everheart:After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry cleaning.Virginia Pepper Potts:I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Pet Store Clerk:We dont have horses. Stephen Strange:Books on Astral Projection.Wong:Youre not ready for that.Dr. Im here to pick up a fossil.Steve Rogers:Thats hilarious., Natasha Romanoff:Did you do anything fun Saturday night? Here are the funniest quotes from Iron Man 2. We know each other! Not Nicholas. Fearless, bold, confident, caring. [catches Drax]Peter Parker:I got you! Five hours in front of the TV. For the full scoop on what this means, feel free to check out our Privacy Policy and Disclosure. Im sorry did I just mishear you or did you just agree with me?Black Widow:Oh I want to take it back now.Iron Man:No, no no. Fortunately, I am mighty[enters a vision], [the Hulk is on a rampage]Tony Stark:[in the Hulkbuster]Listen to me, that little witch is messing with your mind. Back-to-back Iron Man fun! The Doctor Who franchise wouldnt cast Benedict Cumberbatch as the doctor, so Marvel made him Doctor Strange. AND with respect, you should be looking for a team thats prepped and ready to fight, because if that thing shows up again, youre going to have a lot of professional Tough Guys PISSING in their PANTS. My mantra?Baron Mordo:The Wi-Fi password. Find your passion. Peter Quill: You're eating a Zarg-nut. Like the Bob Seger Song?Dr. "With great power comes great responsibility." - Stan Lee 2. Im impressed., Jane Foster:Thats a quantum field generator isnt it?Eir:Its a soul forge.Jane Foster:Does a soul forge transfer molecular energy from one place to another?Eir:[surprised]Yes.Jane Foster:[to Thor, quietly pleased]Quantum field generator., Jane Foster:[Darcy and Ian appear through a portal while kissing]Darcy!Darcy Lewis:[She drops Ian]Jane!Dr. With a shout of "Underoos!" he calls in a familiar neighborhood . Chester Phillips:Sit down. [kills Korath]Drax:Metaphor.Peter Quill:Sort of., Gamora:I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy., Rocket Raccoon:I live for the simple things like how much this is going to hurt! Top 20 Iconic Avengers Quotes Funny & Witty 1. It sucks. And so far, the biggest one weve had is you., [Scott Lang shrunk down to a childs size; runs into Pyms car after going undercover in a school]Dr. Hank Pym:Hiya, champ, how was school today?Scott Lang:Aw, ha ha ha! Now you have graduated and "commenced," ending the last segment of your previous adventure, and now you begin your next adventure. Arent you the cutest looking thing? But theyre actually an American invention. The 50+ Best WandaVision Quotes & Lines: Funny, Eerie & Iconic. Newton D. Baker Life is my college. That kid on the TV just called me a dickhead again. That was really violent." Pepper Potts 8. Quotes About Strength to Inspire You. I'm a Captain! Just like with Iron Man, we got to enjoy two Guardians of the Galaxy films one after the other. Think for yourself. The red, the white. David Barry 2.) I do not understand.Steve Rogers:I do! Doctor Strange Quotes No!Ned Leeds:Can you spit venom?Peter Parker:No.Ned Leeds:Can you summon an army of spiders?Peter Parker:[beat]No, Ned., Ned Leeds:You got bit by a spider? Patrick Ness 2. Here are the best funny lines from Spiderman: Homecoming. Its a leisure vessel.Bruce Banner:What?Valkyrie:The Grandmaster uses it for his good times: orgies and stuff.Bruce Banner:Did she just say the Grandmaster uses it for orgies?Thor:Yeah. Most of Endgame was quite dark and sad, obviously, but no Marvel film would be complete without the signature moments of heroes using humor to get through hard times. "Nobody has a perfect life. Seriously? I AM THE MANDARIN! After the events of the battle of New York Tony Stark had a bit of a crisis of confidence, but that didnt stop the jokes rolling off his tongue like usual. [he sees hes free of his ankle monitor]Luis:[at Scotts house, he startled to see a giant ant on the couch]Whoa! Al Bernstein 4.) , [Shuri drives a car and runs over someone]Shuri:What was that?TChalla:Dont worry about it, youre doing fine!, Everett K. Ross:[Everett drives up to a stranded Okoye and Nakia after their car explodes]Hop in. Seriously? Whats up, Mr Stark?Tony Stark:Kid, whered you come from?Peter Parker:Field trip to MoMa! [exits]Spider-Man:Wait, Mr. Stark! Theres no reason to be scared.Luis:Oh, no no. Okay? Danielle Carson 2 Frank A. Clark If you can find a. Why do you have your toes out in my lab?TChalla:What, you dont like my royal sandals? 101 VOTES Invisible Peter Quill: Dude, how long have you been there? These are the funniest lines from Avengers: Age of Ultron. May I graduate well, and earn some honors! Stay up and fight.". Or if you wanna blow up moons.Gamora:No ones blowing up moons.Rocket Raccoon:You just wanna suck the joy out of everything., Gamora:Im a warrior, an assassin. Just Fury.Carol Danvers:What does your mother call you then?Nick Fury:Fury.Carol Danvers:What do your friends call you?Nick Fury:Fury.Carol Danvers:Kids?Nick Fury:If I ever have them? And how do you know about my daily routine? I just need these two things.Peter Quill:What?Rocket Raccoon:[laughing]No, I thought itd be funny! 7 . "Children want the same things we want. Look, I like you, a lot. Do you want to go to space, puppy? [aware of Steve's new size] "I thought you were smaller." James 'Bucky' Barnes 6. Youre one sandwich away from fat.Peter Quill:Yeah, right.Drax:Its true. "Don't downgrade yours dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny." -Stuart Scott This quote right here is special! Still, its the MCU, and there will always be jokes, so here are the funniest lines from Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Dr. Seuss Life, Smile, Graduation 1886 Copy quote If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. "Never go to bed mad. If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. Tampering with continuum probabilities is forbidden!Dr. [Cap gives her a blank look]Maria Hill:Hes fast, shes weird., James Rhodes:But, you know, the suit can take the weight, right?

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