Oh, and when I accuse him and were coming back from physical therapy or somewhere and he gets mad, he just leaves me in the car knowing I cant get out and has our son come get me. I never really heard him open up about her. 3John2, Been there too honey.weve been married 20 years and have 3 kids so I understand the place youre coming from. We went to marriage counseling for 2 months, he started to believe in God, would pray together.but has since stopped. He recently switched jobs and now he is a flagger i have been really worried lately that he has been maybe messing around with her. (Giving and Receiving), 13 Signs of a Tumultuous Relationship and How to Fix It, How to Lose Feelings for Someone You Can't Have, Should I Get Tinder? Its time you reassess yourself and really determine your self worth. When I talked to him about this I didnt get the sense that he was lying. The fact he cheated with someone I knew killed me.. Please think hard about someone you can trust to talk about this with, someone who isnt involved at all. Just try to see the funny side. I to prayed That The Lord would reveal to me what I needed to know! I thought or assumed that was his issue most his life. Im only 23 years old and Im so lost idk what to do at this point I feel like my love for him is lost somewhere. Hes a car salesman and said that he was with the woman to reserve the room with his credit card because a credit card was required. Just thank god for that PLEASE dont have children until this is fix. I havent withdrawn the papers yet, but I dont want a divorce. My name hannan iam filipina live in saudi arabia middle east I been maried 3 years, my husband saudian, I was in loved with him because he was a sweet, loving but he always lying on me, not only once,twice million times thats whyI changed. Respectfully, Been There. Too bad for him cause hes in his undies, lol. But when you say that when my husbands bestfriend is a cheater he has the tendency to cheat too, I am so afraid of that. I sat it all the time, but remember this. But this is about you, not him. But why cant I shake this feeling? Wearing jeans, nice shirt, nice shoes and doing more to his hair. etc. You will regret wasting your life with a man that clearly has no respect for you and most likely doesnt even love you. If he is cheating on you before there is even anything built, its obvious he isnt looking to settle down and be with one person. I am extremly heart broken and lost. So, although my husband has extra work, he does have extra help. Yet he was earning nothing, in fact it was costing him to go to the office every day, money we didnt have, with a brand new baby to care for and yet as far as he is concerned, it is my fault. I also pray for strength and energy to find ways to change your life and become happy again. bs 3. I would happily have gone to the justice of the peace as we were both 19 at the time. If your suspicions are not confirmed, breathe and live on together. Garbage in, garbage out I suppose. The good news is that youre not alone look how many women are struggling with the same issues! In the first year or so he had lied a few times about drug use which caused me to loose trust I noticed he has put a lock on his phone. An incident happened this weekend and I wantnto get your opinion on this. You are correct in saying that something is wrong. I know that sounds harsh, but you know better. She was mad and threatening to tell me. My husband travels for work and at the moment is traveling more because of a project he was nominated to be in. The guy still keeps saying he loves me and want to change but I gave him 2 years thats enough and one year of legal procedures. He thought I wouldnt say anything. I wandered how much more hed lied to me about. I found strange underware but we all joked it off. i dont even know how he satified all us. Forgive him. i believe you got parents both meaning you and your husband, did you bring this matter to the elder espcially the divorce issue. He is always helpful when people need it, no questions asked, just does because they need help. My bf even tried calling her from my phone and she never answered or called back. He changed jobs since he cheated with a co-worker who is also married and a chronic cheater. My dysfunction upbringing was nothing compared to my hubbys step father. His phone is his personal property, but to consider it off limits to his wife is ABSURD! Why would he have pictures of another woman hidden in his computer? I saw your post. He says he loves me but his actions till now say otherwise. He is using you any way he can. Your marriage is sacred, and when your husband chooses to violate it, it leaves you feeling all kinds of emotions. Its hard to pretend in front of our husband that were ok even were not but sometimes we need to be an actress in front of them. He doesnt take as much time for me as he could. Dear Crazy Lady, Don't predicate your healing on what your ex does or does not do. But now, today, I mentioned how, if he ever becomes single, Im snatching him up.. in a joking way. Truthfully it is 50/50 think of all the money he would have to spend on these things. couldnt answer why she sent him pictures. I want to leave him but I cant until I prove that his cheating. I do question time to time who he truly is because sometimes I see him as this amazing man and sometimes I see him as this evil person who destroyed a part of me. Ive gone through fertility treatments and that is how Ive been able to get pregnant. I cant guarantee that Ill have any answers, but other readers mightand sometimes it helps alot just to tell your story and know youre not alone. What privacy does a husband deserve FROM HIS WIFE? To them the truth is a hallucination of a monster waiting to turn them into a rubble of shame. When my husband finally left for work he forgot his phone. Watch his reaction and be aware that he can talk himself out of a wet paper bag and then listen to your gut. I cant eat, I cant sleep(he lets her in the house while Im sleeping) Ive set up cameras around me and caught her leaning over me cutting my hair and have caught him doing the same. If you step back and rise up above the pain for a moment, you will see your anger turn to pity. I realized they were always together and ate lunch together which most of the time I did also. He was married, but not happy and left his wife. I know what he did but he wont ever admit to it so why dont you do us both a huge favor and message me on facebook. I was promised that this woukd happen, by him and the staff. But its summer again, and he has lots of time on his hands. Science has proven that genetic diversity is healthier within biological populations. As a christian you should tell the truth and who know the truth may set eveyone free and you can have him. I called her and acted like he was sitting there, she tells me they are just really good friends and that she was telling him she was done meaning done being friends with him. While he was talking to her he was sitting next to me the whole time telling me he was talking to ppl about baby stuff. (Well, I actually think the most important relationship is with God, but thats a whole different animal :-) ). I love him with all my heart, but if there is no trust there is no life together. I mean if I cant satisfy him anymore maybe he should just do what he does. I dont mind because everyone needs time away to relax. Every person is different. Its so painful. He had taken her on a vacation when I thought he was on a golf outing!! I know its not easy but he doesnt live close anyway so cut the cord so you are free to find someone who really loves you! You are a woman, you have control in the end. I doubt he believes me because he said it was still recording but he did not know how to turn it off. You cant trust him because he is out for sex.. You sound pretty smart,so for your own piece of mind you should stay away from him. I can dance naked on the bed in front of him, dont do anyghing, bring out my toy he dont care, what do i need to do to let him know am here? 2 months ago I written a letter to him, which he had kept hoping to try to press charges on me with it instead it back fires. Thank you for being here it takes alot of courage to share how things are going in your marriage. Are there any signs that he might be? but i cont beleive bec he always makes fake promises when asked about his fake promises suddenly unknowingly he bluffed like u only making me to put fake promises again started covering his tongue slip. For the past 2 weeks i have noticed a change in his behavior towards me. He cuddles with me at night for about 5 minutes, never leads to anything sexual. I know he was with other people before we got together and he says she is a stalker but I talked to her and she knew everything about him. My husband did the same sort of things to me and he was definitely cheating. You need to realize first of all there are children involved! The more you can free yourself to see where this all goes, to ride out the emotions, the better you'll feel about it when you reach some kind of clarity. Our intimate life had always been great, and I know we were bunting heads for a little while before this last incident. Check to see if theres sexual or loving words he doesnt frequently use with you. Ummm okay. He is not a nice man. Multiple sexual encounters with the same woman while i was pregnant with our daughters. Let me share this with you TeresaI had a wife like you with chronic back pain and surgeries and all that. You have to protect Yourself, as he seems to be giving you mixed feelings. Like all women, we fell hook, line and sinkerThey got us, but still wants to live the single life. He said a woman at work pulled her pants down in front of him and he thought about itnow when he kisses me or we are intimate it feels different and also wants me to do things a certain way or differentim not sure how i should feelfyi what ever hes wanted to try i was more than willing but all of a sudden im not doing enough.i would love your advice. All without an ounce of mean-spirited intent. Nothing short of traumatic head injury can (should?) 1. I was ready to leave, but he drove me and my phone was dead. His classmates referred to them as couples. We allow things and behavior we know that we should not. He has no use for them now, or me. I called both ladies and turns out he was having affairs with both women at the same time. We all do. I cried. If you're in a romantic relationship with a narcissist. When were telling the truth and are with people we like, admire, and trust, we face our belly buttons towards them. Women who are dissatisfied with their relationship are more than twice as likely to cheat; those who feel they are sexually incompatible with their partners are nearly three times as likely. Your venting helped me put the missing pieces together. He also got him smoking hash wich i stopped right away.. im so confused what can i do i cant trust him any more and suspect he is having a relation with his friends sister. Other than thst I didnt witness any other interaction between them. He has said over and over that he is taking our relationship seriously but I just learned that hes been texting another girl in what I consider an inappropriate manner for the past month or so (very flirtatious texts at all times of day, making plans to go to her house that he hasnt told me about, or alternatively him making excuses for why he cant go out that appear to be lies timed around when he was hanging out with me). I dont like his job because he has accepted gifts from other women and is a server at an asian restaurant. And talk to him. You both need to be in a safe place sweetheart I am so sorry you are going through this scary stuff please tell someone that will get you out of harms way. Hes not as interested in physical intimacy as he was before. Our daughters age. Signs your relationship is over, plus help deciding how to move on after a breakup. When that isnt satisfying enough when the spark of that excitement wears off then it progresses to meeting in person, dinners, drinks, hotels, etc. I am consumed in what happened. Make him conscious and force him to try to hide the truth even more. he deleted everything off his ipad. My personal opinion is you need to come out of the place of mistrust. Ever since I was pregnant with my first child, he has called me horrible names like whore and slut. The reason Ive accused him to begin with is because things just dont make sense. Ive have suspected my husband of cheating sooo many times, but never confirmed until three weeks ago. Dont want to give up but I dont think I have a choice. THE BEST PART of our relationship was always COMMUNICATION. Your husband is being very deceitful, even when he knows you KNOW what hes doing, he continues to manipulate you He is not husband material. But I prove him wrong. You're looking for concrete proof but you might never get that. half the comments of women here say I think my man is cheating on me, so I decided to invade his privacy, spy on him, and find out if I can really trust him. But, heres the amazing thing, Chrissy. If you accuse him habitually of cheating or have insecurity issues and take them out on him and he has been patient all along, he would begin to get upset once your accusations are amped up in intensity and start to happen everyday. He acted as if he took up for her. The internal struggle , the tug of war between disgust-rage-pain-humiliation- rejection and fear- love- desire- want- need is enough to kill you. And it did. So this time i did snoop. Those are questions only you can answer. I axcept, the other lady then got married to other man. He ignored me to continue his game. take care i hope i give you the right advice please dont stop communicating wiht me. He did not know it was me, and we exchanged several explicit emails. But I never felt that I was being cheated until 4 months ago. Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself? i have been checking everything his computer, his mobile, his pockets, but i do not find anything! This is a painful but good talk to watch: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved. Sorry this is long but i have no idea what to do, im scared he is cheating on me even if it is just txt messgaes. The confusion and shock is almost overwhelming at first! Listen to your gut. not even after 1 month i saw him at shoping centre with a women in his car i approached him , u know what he went to park his car from distance not for woman to see what is going on. I had a gut feeling by my observations of his actions. If the woman is so paranoid that her spouse is cheating if he is or not then instead of torching both herself and him realize its time to move on. I completely snapped. I do think a man would be crazy to give up a woman who offers what you suggest. What should I think, say or do knowing that my husband of 5 years, has a new female best friend 25 years younger than he is. To learn more from Gary Neuman, readhis bookThe Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It. He went out of town a few days later and I studied his cell phone records. Your email address will not be published. If your husbands best friend is cheating, then the chances are higher that your husband may cheat on you. so i dont trust him. Ask casual, open-ended questions and prime your partner to tell you the truth when you're ready to get them to admit they are cheating. Well I began to ask questions and my husband kept saying I was crazy and how I was always accusing him but I have always been right about him. So later also in workig hours he gets a text from his brother, I open it and its more pornographic videos. 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