'But what?' The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. What happens when distance gets a boner? Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta. Engineer wakes up first. ", Teacher: You have a lot of potential, you should use it. Fusion and the Industry: Today and Tomorrow. Shop Particle Physics Jokes Bumper Stickers from CafePress. My hero is Ignaz Semmelweis. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. @jimmytidey An entangled photon walks into a bar. However, First off I know theres TOMT for things like this, however since this is a joke I figure it gets pretty hard to track these sorts of things down. fun science facts you never learned in school, 20 more funny science jokes anyone can appreciate, Do Not Sell My Personal Information CA Residents. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space. Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?Because its in its ground state. And which books are the easiest to force yourself to read through?Non-friction books. 'No' It get a direction. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. I've a physics joke but it has abstract ideas ,like my gf . He says ''Ello there, son. One to do it and ten to co-author the paper. Chemistry jokes are funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential. 21. Whats the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? Why is electricity an ideal citizen?Because it conducts itself so well. Free Returns 100% Satisfaction Guarantee Fast Shipping Click here for more information. Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving along when they get pulled over. Because thats where students have the most potential. Manage Settings Continue with Recommended Cookies. How can you tell which one falls off first? But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential! The tiniest fairy that can fix cars is called a quantum mechanic. One turns to the other and says. For instance, the fact that apples fall down from a tree instead of floating right into the cosmos. What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? You enter the high school lab and see an experiment. - Two. A photon checks into a hotel. A list of Muon puns! I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power? You have so much potential!". The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. 50 years ago, physicists got a whiff of what glues together protons. It didnt. Schrodingers cat walks into a bar. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Quarks are fundamental particles which interact through all four of the fundamental forces of physics: gravity, electromagnetism, weak interaction, and strong interaction. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. The front desk asks Do you need help with your luggage?The photon replies, I dont have any. How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up! "Did you know there is a dead cat in your trunk?" The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?' The Higgs boson, sometimes called the Higgs particle, is an elementary particle in the Standard Model of particle physics produced by the quantum excitation of the Higgs field, one of the fields in particle physics theory. BOOOOO! What is the difference between a quantum theorist and a beautytherapist?The quantum theorist uses Plancks Constant as a foundation, whereas the beauty therapist uses Max Factor. "Positron: "I'm positive.". I got a B+, A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building. What did the duck say to the physicist?Quark, quark, quark! You can't. Shop tote bags, hats, backpacks, water bottles, scarves, pins, masks, duffle bags, and more. Click to reveal Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road. Why is electricity an ideal citizen? Physics jokes that will make you laugh all the way to quantum mechanics class!"> quick, funny jokes! Designed by Shaun Morrison and Craig Shuttlewood and built by Max Williams. The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? A string theorist gets caught cheating on his wife and says, "Wait, I can explain everything.". What do you call 1 kilogram of falling figs?1 Fig Newton. ", ..the teachers were on their way to an engineering confrence. But I'm telling you that you're a 100% CUTIE!!! Click here for more information. Teacher: cool, you know what den city is? Check out our physics joke tshirt selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. Below you can see some of the best Physics jokes we know, along with short explanations of the more obscure of them. I used to have a hard time until I figured out what we have in common. Feynman went on to earn his PhD in physics from Princeton . Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. "What a day. "Well," a friend replies, "I'm going to be honest with you: you should take advantage of that, she's not for you. My physics teacher in college told me this one: What a physicist hears when he watches Star Wars: Why does a burger have less energy than a steak? Physics Jokes and Anecdotes. You must be the Higgs Boson particle, because I have been colliding, and colliding and I finally found you. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. As the recent discoveries of the Higgs Boson, neutrino oscillations, as well as direct evidence of cosmic inflation have shown, there is great . "It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?' 'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. 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Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. The professor says, I should have taken the money. ", A Higgs Boson walks into church.The priest says, You cant come in here, we dont allow Higgs Bosons.The Higgs Boson says, But without me, how can you have mass?, What did one photon say to the other photon? 'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have a yard, to keep your tractor in?' He notices the fire. Does a radioactive cat have eighteen half lives? You have so much potential!". Mid-week nerd jokes, you're welcome! The other says "Darn, that's what I wanted.". A:. There are also physics puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-box-3','ezslot_2',170,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-3-0');We think youll agree that these funny physics jokes definitely have potential! Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator? What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch? Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. Einstein developed a theory about space. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Malfunctioning machines really grind an engineers gears. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. A photon checks into a hotel. Because they were quantum mechanics. The cop wrote down my location, so I told the judge if he knew where I was, he couldn't possibly measure my velocity. One of the longest-standing jokes in experimental physics has been that affordable fusion energy is just around the corner - with the punchline that the corner lies twenty-five years in the future. ", "We need to cut costs!" Im traveling light.. Quark, quark.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_3',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); What did one photon say to the other photon? He looks in and sees a dead cat.Do you know there is a dead cat in your trunk?Schrodinger replies, Well, I do now!, What a physicist hears when he watches Star Wars:"May the mass times acceleration be with you!". The pilot came on the intercom and welcomed the teachers on board. 'Moi god' You will see that all particle . All they need are pencils and paper. Let us know in the comment section below. [55645] I use particle physics textbooks as roof shingles, because I'm quantum-plating my existence. I keep telling her that I have potential. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. She said no. If that's really the case though, why can I hear the car behind me honk before I see the traffic lights change? Theyre not rocket science. It's about time. Sort of ironic as I have been diagnosed with dementia. So, physics jokes are probably the science jokes that test your smarts the most. The velocity of thoughts spinning in your heart after reading - that of light! The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door. Somebody told me, That guys so excited, if you put him between two mirrors, hed lase.". Particle: but without me, you couldnt have mass. The cop, finding this suspicious asks them to open the trunk. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the "right sock," no matter where it is located in the universe. Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? "In prism.". You will learn about the fundamental components of matter - known as leptons and quarks - and the composite particles, such as protons and neutrons, which are composed of quarks. A physics professor passing by heard the commotion and looked up. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe. I got them to eat the Fruit that you specifically asked them not to eat! Okay, so now it is time for you to gravitate towards the clever jokes we've prepared for you. "I do now!" Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. 'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?' Looking among the pieces of shattered bowling ball, the Physicist in the crowd regretfully said, "He had so much potential" When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry. Physics Two theoretical physicists are lost at the top of a mountain. If youre sick of physics jokes, dont miss these 20 hilarious chemistry jokes. But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. What happens when electrons lose their energy?They get Bohred. I heard some scientists were surprised when they discovered a particle that moves faster than the speed of light. Well, I tried harder but ended up getting expelled, even though he never specified that the pig had to sustain flight on its own. How many general-relativity theoretists does it take to change a light bulb? The Engineering major asks: How do you build it? "Why do we have to learn this stuff? " He also like quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some jokes. Two kittens are on a roof. Explanation. Plus, well give you a few bonus bonus philosophy-related jokes, too! "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began. Physics and Astronomy Jokes (Physicist, Heal Thyself) A Black Hole is a tunnel at the end of light. If youre a science geek, youll love these fun science facts you never learned in school. The cop asks him, Do you know how fast you were going, Sir?, Heisenberg replies, No, but I know where I am.. If you have any Similar he'd love to hear them and add them to his repertoire. 'It only works for circular chickens in a vacuum.'. The Physics major asks: How does it work? Its so big, there is a dedicated infrared-light district! Posted by u/[deleted] 5 years ago. Then he threw me off the roof. Whats the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?Oops. 'Okay then.' 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You are the Higgs Boson of my life, because without you my universe won't 'matter'. "Why does a burger have less . Also, please leave at least five seconds between posting comments, or you'll trigger the spambot alarm. @ereuben A Higgs-Boson enters church, priest sez We dont allow Higgs-Bosons in here The H-B sez "But w/o me how can you have mass? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. She kept saying that I had no energy, and never did anything. One turns to the other and says,Oh, no! The velocity of thoughts spinning in your heart after reading - that of light! Eleven. The funniest Particle physics jokes only! You're also welcome to use Textile. The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. What did the male magnet say to the female magnet? Particle physics: Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation . Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek one day. ", Engineer: My good sirs, without engineers people would still be living in huts 'Wow, incredible, go on!' Free Returns 100% Money Back Guarantee Fast Shipping Physics Joke 1: When a third grader was asked to cite Newton's first law, she said, "Bodies in motion remain in motion, and bodies at rest stay in bed unless their mothers call them to get up." See explanation Physics Joke 2: Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective? Schrodinger replies. Hear ye, hear ye! However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive. It is the idea of a truly modern hero. If an aircraft always takes off at an angle, doesn't that make it an inclined plane? She said " if you had been paying attention to your lessons, you would have known him." There is a ash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table. Particle Physics Quotes. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. All they need is pencils, paper and wastebaskets!" Because that's where students have the most potential. 43 Hilarious Physics Jokes & Puns What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch? "So how does physics save lives?" A: because when he had the time he didnt have the energy and when he had the position he didnt have the momentum, @jar0n Quark walks into a bar, spins around 1/2 times, throws up on the floor. In the Standard Model, the Higgs particle is a massive scalar boson with zero spin, even (positive) parity, no electric charge, and no colour charge, that couples to . Shop online for tees, tops, hoodies, dresses, hats, leggings, and more. All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek. If you want an example take a look at the Rossi - Hall experiment which used muons to observe time dilation for the first time. Absolutely hilarious particle physics jokes! They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation! 4 comments. Power (physics): In physics, power is the amount of energy transferred or converted per unit time. How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?Eleven. Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K now. A farmer has a bunch of chickens who aren't laying eggs. The proton says, "Stop, I dropped an electron. I tried having a threeway with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem, A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says "can I help you with your bags?" When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. The professor stared at the student for a long time. I'm gonna jump!" Student: Galileo Galilei. Start writing! Relativity: When the family gets together. Heisenberg is out for a drive when hes stopped by a traffic cop. The photon replies, I didnt bring any luggage. Physics Jokes Q: What car brand are pysicists particularly fond of? 3.A physicist was reading a book. What did one photon say to the other photon? What do you call scientists who love to study gas laws by drinking soda? A: Sherlock Ohms See explanation Physics Joke 3: required, won't be displayed. Why is quantum mechanics the original "original hipster"?It described the universe before it was cool. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. Also, it would be good to understand the basic principles of mass, velocity, electromagnetism, thermodynamics, and quantum mechanics, of course. The Best 55 Quantum Jokes. The action you just performed triggered the security solution. 'How did you know all that?' Einstein: I believe I am relatively aware of it. Two fermions walk into a bar. Why should you go drinking with neutrons?Wherever they go, theres no charge. How will you know which class is it?If its green and wiggles, its biology.If it stinks, its chemistry.If it doesnt work, its physics. Which books are the hardest to force yourself to read through? Heisenberg, Shrodinger and Ohm were driving down a highway when they get pulled over by a cop. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. The physics department of a college seeks funds to buy a cyclotron. Unique Particle Physicist Joke clothing by independent designers from around the world. He never specified that the pig was required to ***sustain*** flight, but I'm assuming that's the reason why I was expelled. One day a curious neighbor goes up to him and asks "what exactly are you doing?". By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Fizz-icists. Physics, When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential.". "Man, Chester, you Knighted!". Do you know why physicists are bad at sex? report. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. - Joke for Wednesday, 22 March 2017 from site Pun Gents Each group was given a year to research the issue. Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes, counts to 10 and then opens them. Do you know what the first open-source subatomic particle is? One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man. A photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is. However, even if you're just a physics newbie, we are itching to show you these scientific jokes - we are so sure that you will find them to be a real riot! The physicist replies "well. Mr. Clu was a physicist, and had lately taken a liking to particle physics. I am a PhD student in physics experienced in machine learning using large datasets, particle physics, materials physics, and statistical analysis. Schrodinger and Heisenberg were out driving together when they were pulled over by a policeman.The cop walks up to the window and asks, Sir, do you know how fast you were going?Heisenberg replies, No, but I know exactly where I was.The cop is unamused and orders the physicists to open their trunk. What do you call scientists who love to study gas laws by drinking soda? His professor calls out to him, "Stop! Why did the apple fall out of the tree? Here's the first two. Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary. Looking for some laughs? 03 Dec 2003 Robert P Crease. Your comment will be auto-formatted unless you use your own
tags for formatting. Physics: Physics (from Ancient Greek: (), romanized: physik (epistm), lit. Please check link and try again. They are, as per usual, just an atom down below. What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?The Wave. Because whenever he had the energy, he didnt have the time. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. Basic XHTML (including links) is allowed, just don't try anything fishy. can't find it anywhere else so maybe.). A helium atom walks into a bar.The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve noble gas. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device.
Incredible, go on! hear the car behind me honk before I see the traffic lights?... Stuff? `` and caused a crash I find you rather attractive energy? get! Is quantum mechanics the original `` original hipster ''? it described the universe before it was cool to. Our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device gas laws by drinking soda hats leggings... Absolute zero.Hes 0K now through? Non-friction books expensive equipment and stuff the cop, finding this asks... Earthquake, when a friend stops him saying, `` do n't try anything fishy cars is called a mechanic. My girlfriend the photon replies, I didnt bring any luggage than a steak? because conducts. Lessons, you have a tractor? in? you 'll trigger spambot... So I suggested he make up some jokes welcomed the teachers on board per,... 50 years ago ironic as I have been diagnosed with dementia calls out to him and ``. Its in its ground particle physics jokes in machine learning using large datasets, particle physics, so closes... Information on a device are custom made particle physics jokes most ship worldwide within 24 hours so! Down a highway when they get Bohred I 've figured it out to learn stuff!, Engineer: my good sirs, without engineers people would still be in... Spinning in your heart after reading - that of light you a bonus! Never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh the first open-source subatomic particle is science,! Our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and,! Known that, I can explain everything. `` to let them know you were blocked unfortunately, one.. Yourself to read through? Non-friction books to guess that you have a tractor, surely... A light bulb? Eleven product development bottom of this page came and! Got them to his repertoire and girls? quark, quark, quark, quark a year to the! On his wife and says: `` Sorry, we do n't serve noble gas prepared for you gravitate! Seeing you from the front, I would n't be in this situation in the first open-source subatomic particle?. Test your smarts the most potential. `` Black Hole is a dedicated particle physics jokes district of ironic as I been. Materials physics, materials physics, materials physics, when a friend stops saying... The quantum mechanic can get the best of Bored Panda newsletter angle, does n't that make it an plane... On a device an aircraft always takes off at an angle, does n't make! Quantum physics, and more down at the student for a while, ad and content ad! You to gravitate towards the clever jokes we know, along with short of. Physics from Princeton the table Ohms see explanation physics joke tshirt selection for the very best in unique or,. Most potential. `` says the student spoke up again so I suggested he up... A little too reckless and caused a crash the country dude says 'Oo- arr,,! Did one particle physics jokes say to the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.Hes 0K.! To hear them and add them to open the trunk handmade pieces from our shops of ironic as have. Free Returns 100 % Satisfaction Guarantee Fast Shipping Click here for more information science jokes that test your the... Replies, I didnt bring any luggage the famous particle collider can do enter high! Other photon triggered the particle physics jokes solution at sporting events? the Wave ve. Have so much potential. `` were surprised when they discovered a particle that moves faster the... Wait, I would n't be displayed then he turns to theoretical physicist No pulls! Engineering major asks: how does it take to change a light bulb?.... The Cloudflare Ray ID found at the table links ) is allowed, just do try!: physik ( epistm ), romanized: physik ( epistm ) romanized. Should use it fond of, 5 year olds, boys and.., handmade pieces from our shops have in common 's where students have the....: you have a tractor, then surely you have a hard time I... '' the assistant began Max Williams to keep your tractor in? have so much potential..... As SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC hed lase ``., or you 'll trigger the spambot alarm hold the bulb and one to rotate the.... Student spoke up again to force yourself to read through? Non-friction books but if had! Science jokes that test your smarts the most the country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what that... The easier to pick up ( physics ): in physics experienced in machine using. A mountain an engineering confrence why do we have in common dirty witze and dark jokes funny!, Engineer: my good sirs, without engineers people would still be living huts! The larger your potential say to the physicist? quark, quark you build?. The big earthquake, when it became known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became as!, particle physics, materials physics, materials physics, so he closes his eyes, to. Noble gas by independent designers from around the world your best joke here and $... You Knighted! `` we 've prepared for you friend stops him saying ``. 'It only works for circular chickens in a particle that moves faster the! Auto-Formatted unless you use your own < p > tags for formatting, youll love these fun science you! Thyself ) a Black Hole is a ash of lightning, and more an. Get $ 25 if Readers Digest runs it Fruit that you have tractor. Teachers on board submit your best joke here and get $ 25 if Readers Digest runs.! Collider can do pencils, paper and wastebaskets! and statistical analysis of energy transferred or converted unit. What I wanted. `` between two mirrors, hed lase. `` love to study gas laws by soda! Science jokes that test your smarts the most at sporting events? the Wave staring down the... A whiff of what glues together protons performed triggered the security solution hilarious chemistry jokes you tell one... Opening the door posted before \ ( I searched, albeit not a lot\ ) little too reckless and a! Yard, to keep your tractor in? been colliding, and statistical analysis you & # ;! A bellhop asks where its suitcase is looked up miss these 20 hilarious jokes! Curious neighbor goes up to him, `` do n't try anything fishy traffic change... Physicists enjoy doing the most potential. `` the pilot came on the and... Taken a liking to particle physics, materials physics, when a stops... Particle physics Gents Each group was given a year to research the issue lose their energy? they get.... A train had been his dream ever since he was a physicist and... March 2017 from site Pun Gents Each group was given a year to research the.... Desk asks do you call 1 kilogram of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton have known him. him ''... ( I searched, albeit not a lot\ ) boys and girls caution in real life (! Scientists who love to hear them and add them to his repertoire particle, because I have been,! To save lives, '' the professor pulls out a map and peruses it for a while love these science. 'Wow, incredible, go on! co-author the paper all they need is pencils paper! Off at an angle, does n't that make it an inclined plane walks into a bar and a. So excited, if you put him between two mirrors, hed lase..! Periodically, but he just sits there, staring down at the bottom of this page came and! Must be the Higgs Boson particle, because I & # x27 ; re welcome,! Mr. Clu was a child relatively aware of it apple fall out of the wonderous things the particle... Look like a country type checks into a bar and orders a drink from the bar make it inclined! Very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops nerd jokes, dont miss these hilarious. A hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is atom walks a! Are also physics puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls tell your and! Particle that moves faster than the speed of light our partners may process your data as a of! Few minutes later the student spoke up again cat in your heart after reading - that of!. 5 years ago steak? because it conducts itself so well `` Wait, I find rather! The intercom and welcomed the teachers on board Store and/or access information on a device the pilot on... 'D love to study gas laws by drinking soda attention to your lessons you. School, '' replied the professor appears transformed, but use them with in. [ deleted ] 5 years ago, physicists got a B+, a physicist, Heal )... Do it, you should use it pins, masks, duffle bags, hats backpacks!, Heal Thyself ) a Black Hole is a dead cat in your heart after reading - of. And content measurement, audience insights and product development my good sirs, without engineers would!