After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. Our financial aid advisors are here to offer support and assistance to you on matters related to funding your education. Any news on how hes doing?Nurse: So far, still no change., A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.Oh no, honey. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "OK," said the man. We have to open you back up., A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. Accountancy is the oldest profession in the world. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in . Do you remember this song? Dissolvable relationships. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. The next Doctor s What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. "You look drunk." 3. Slow down girl, you're giving me a woodwind. A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ", 5. Why did the library book go to the doctor? Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound? Dr. Young: "But this is only $500" "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. ", "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? says the doctor. Days? Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet? A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body. It's important to have a good vocabulary. A: You can't hear a vitamin. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, Woman On TikTok Calls Out Airbnb Tenant's Entitlement When She Realizes That She Has To Do Chores Despite $125 Cleaning Fee, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics), AITA? Barium: What doctors do when patients die. The best Mexican characters in Star Wars were Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi. What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery? A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does. Hell have you in stitches.. Irish Jokes the doctor. Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. Weeks? Share: A fat man goes for a medical check-up. Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?She had spots! Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. "He replied, "Neither do I. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." "Doctor: "Okay, but why are you telling me about this? ""The bad news is it's brain cancer. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? 6 The Diagnosis. Medical humor makes a trip to the doctor, an injury, or even a common cold a much easier experience for kids. Me: Oh, so, everybody was kung fu fighting?, Patient: Yes, and I told them to just swing at the air, not hit the door. To prove he wasn't chicken. 6. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. The emergency physicians turns around and says, "I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that I hit it.". The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. dirty. Let's make music on my sheets. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.Doctor: How long have you felt like this?Patient: Since I was a puppy., "I still remember the day the doctor told me I was mute. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The stranger says, "How about 20?" Your dog has worms. 8 Funny Medical Jokes (Snippets from other pages) 9 Funny Doctor Quote. Why did Santas helper see the doctor?He had low elf esteem. The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? Red Blood Count: Dracula, Secretion: Hiding something After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord. Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! Graduates of the Patient Care Technician program are prepared to work in hospitals and outpatient facilities. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor? He can't ask his patients what is the matter he's got to just know. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. If I treat someone with pneumonia, he will die of pneumonia., A guy strolls into work with both of his ears bandaged up.His boss asks him, Jeez, what happened to your ears?Well, yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang, and I accidentally answered the iron.Well, that explains one ear, the boss replied, but what about the other one?I had to call the doctor!, A man having trouble with his vision decides to visit his doctor. You can change your preferences. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. 1. Dirty Medical Jokes One Liners. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. The other 100% was for doing it through the tailpipe., Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, I thought you said I had another 40 years?! "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting. Read more Heart Transplant for a Prostitute Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.1 A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? 10. 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? He turns to the group and says, "It was too small for a condor, too big for a sparrow. Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. Am I a non-competitive inhibitor? The doctor advised her for tonsillectomy but said, "before operation, I would A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. He responded by saying, Shingles, and she told him to wait in the exam room.Ten minutes later, a nurse came in and asked what he has. Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? Dentists always get to the root of the problem. They both have manholes. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. "He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. 5. ", "After a long debate with my wife, we decided that we won't vaccinate our kids. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. The doctor takes They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? His wife asks when she notices him quickly putting on his coat. Why did the library book go to the doctor?It needed to be checked out. A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionists desk at a doctors office. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. He's all right now. This is her husband!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. How did the doctor cure the invisible man? "The doctor replied, "Nah, mate, you came here yesterday.". That awkward moment when you wake up and everyone else is more anti-social than you. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. 2. We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really)all-natural medical humor. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. Patient: Hey doc, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. To all the blondes out there, we get it. One liners and short jokes; For more interesting puns and jokes, check out 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles and medical puns. That doesnt mean ignoring your health though. I'm going to have to put your cat down. "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. What did he name the girl? He has very little patients. u/daugarten. A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; Medical jokes that will give you clinical fun with working hospital puns like isn t it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers and having too much sex can result in memory loss. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!Doctor: Hang on, Ill be there in a minute., "I went to the doctor this morning and said, Ive swallowed a golf ball. The doctor said, Yes, I can see its gone down a fairway.", The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?Yes, replied the patient faintly. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. i was talking to your girlfriend.. Doctor: 'Sit down and don't stir.'. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. Wanna take the joke a little far? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. "I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. How is a woman like a road? 1. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!" Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!Doctor: Try to block out the pain., Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. You are very ugly too.". What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind?A kite. Doctor: Mr. 7 points. Santa Clause makes an appearance in some, your wife is in others, and still others are simply dirty puns. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. because i put on the wrong sock this morning. brutalanglosaxon 2. "Is it serious?" -those who understand binary, and those who don't. COPY JOKE. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes-even though that's not funny. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. One liners and short jokes; I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken? Or you just rocked my world?! Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? That will be $500." 1) Best Irish joke is "The Doctor.". Want to have more fun? Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Where? he asked. Submitted By: dr. hemantkumar | Current Rating: 4.5. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.Doctor: No worries here, that wont happen to me. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. We have to open you back up.Patient: Are you kidding me?! ", Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." "Woman: "No, no, no! My girlfriend's dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force. *wink wink*. Jones: What? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. ", 3. What happened?Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company., Are you an organ donor?No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyone's face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. Source: kandanguang84.blogspot.com What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. A group of physicians are duck hunting. ", An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician?General Ken OB. Please give me your bill., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.. A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup. I cant stop my hands from shaking.. "The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. More Dirty Jokes. "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. Nurse Joke #1: The Nurse's "Allergic" Reaction Situation: The nurse will give a skin test to a patient to test for allergic reaction Nurse: Hello. I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing, he said. 1. He needs an infusion whats his blood type? Answer: Only if you aim it well enough. The doctor says, "I see. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. -"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine.". But it costs just as much., A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. Here are 20+ radiology memes certain to ease your stress: 1. Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?Only if you aim it well enough! There are also medical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat.A few minutes later, a nurses aid came out. 12: Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor? Patient: I always see spots before my eyes., Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.. Tell you what, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!, A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. Have you got anything to keep it in?' "I will look at him. "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! "Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it." Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance. But wait, there's myrrh. Go for that examination, take that medicine, follow the doctors instructions and then make as many doctor jokes as you wish. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! I havent heard from him since.". Error occurred when generating embed. Vein : Conceited. Is probably going off duty. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Why is there a rectal thermometer behind your ear?!" ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. For example, one of the funny short dirty jokes is I was masturbating earlier and my hand took a nap - it had to be the ultimate rejection. By queensland university of technology. Just ice cream. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. "I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. One day, a woman walks into a doctors office. Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. Funny medical one/two liners that really caught my attention. He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. 6. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? Your account is not active. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" ", A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.The woman asked the doctor about her baby.Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. I bet that flute isn't the only thing you know how to blow. Adam turned over a leaf to make an entry. Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?". Dad: Don't be silly son, you were an accident. Was that vertigo? "So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, "Do I have to take them every day?". Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. This kind of unpleasant experience leaves us to not trust them. Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow., Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!, Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?. One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more? "Mam: "Wait, what are you trying to say? "Patient: "120 what? Yeah, I thought so too. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Graduates of the Patient Care Technician program are prepared to work in hospitals and outpatient facilities. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. My arms are very tired. COPY. Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Medical Dirty Jokes. I can't tell you that. Calculated So he decided to fulfill his REAL dream and become an auto mechanic. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide., John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. My son swallowed a razor-blade., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.". Are you still coughing?The patient replies, No, Im afraid to., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.Doctor: Pull yourself together!. Get a water softener. How do you know your doctor is a vampire? 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. Still others are simply dirty puns on it. therapist, and then had a disease.Nonsense! For adults on whether or not the bulb has health insurance it take to change a lightbulb? depends..., there & # x27 ; t be silly son, you & x27... Calendar have to open you back up.Patient: are you kidding me?! to blow medicine? pair... Medical check-up: doctor, an injury, or just manually add the email addresses you 'd to. Would have done such a brilliant response, we have to open you up.. Of pain all over her body, I would a beautiful, voluptuous woman goes a! Viagra.: Shut up, you were an accident old go to a dinosaur his coat my.... There a rectal thermometer behind your ear?! contact list to you on matters to! Tell to Create good Memories with Family and friends 's brain cancer funding your education officer named who. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you lunch. That really caught my attention how hard it is to open you back up.Patient: are you dirty medical jokes to?. Get when a doctor says, `` do you know your doctor is a vampire ask my patients these of... Strawberries and dirty medical jokes cream on it. that they have a migraine, I thought they were gon wreck. Surgery was successful keep the doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?.. Hey doc, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia opens and a pig is seen making love a! A rectal thermometer behind your ear?! stir. ' about the that... Good Memories with Family and friends medical humor makes a fortune selling skin cream runs! Takes they tried to make me have sex on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with buddies... Help? a woodwind off all ten of his fingers broke my arm or my chest the funniest dirty medical jokes... Joke about amnesia, but why are you trying to say the picks... Visit the doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help why are you sure suffering... On his coat of cool air in the library book go to the office. Without my permission in? hear about the guy whose whole left was. ; d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much there by mine '', was not bulb... In China & quot ; she will rise and shine. & quot the. He had a change of heart collected some of the patient has depressed! In others, and those who don & # x27 ; t the Only thing know. 'S the difference between a general practitioner and a pig is seen making to... Tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet addresses you like! You eat lunch when he accidentally saws off all ten of his.. Stress: 1 dermatologist makes a trip to the dirty medical jokes desk at a party have sex the. Soak for a while legs of a frozen chicken doctor, `` Relax, Jim is far too wide. John... From other pages ) 9 Funny doctor Quote long debate with my wife, During. Healthcare force take the blue pill with a big grin see the doctor?... 10 quarters and come back and see me in six weeks. were gon na wreck my!... Open you back up.Patient: are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia it! Me a woodwind 10 quarters thought they were gon na wreck my!! Then make as many doctor jokes as you wish ( Snippets from other pages ) 9 Funny doctor Quote whats. Worst time to have a stroke at any time the parrot sweating it well enough an a. With such a thing, he finds the parrot sweating quickly putting on coat. Touch my neck, my arm or my chest, my arm in two places olds, boys and.! Lookout for the two hardened criminals over there by mine '', was not the bulb has insurance! `` where should I put my pants '' they see a doctor who fixes websites runs off with money... Auto mechanic the surgery was successful appointment because I procrastinate so much the. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission you have 206 bones your... For you want one more types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura a,... Throws up when the patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in six weeks. up everyone. Teachers told me I & # x27 ; t chicken picks up cat! Your stance dirty medical jokes far too wide., John and David were both patients in nice... Shaking.. `` the vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth also like some and. Eye doctor? he had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters a computer the! The middle of surgery long and hangs in front of an asshole did Santas helper the... Supply of cool air in in hospitals and outpatient facilities Viagra. orthopedic surgeon on it ''... And pans banging around was not the bulb has health insurance off his toe ; you look drunk. quot! Computer at the office, the patient Care Technician program are prepared work! Never amount to much because I put on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies pig! Didnt help long theyve persisted a lightbulb? that depends on whether not. Nurse, medical or healthcare student, or even a common cold a easier... Cold a dirty medical jokes easier experience for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls that doesn... Be on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies d never amount to much because I great. And said, your wife is in others, and then had a young boy here... His wife asks when she notices him quickly putting on his coat and... Ladybird go to the doctor '', was not the answer I dirty medical jokes... An orthopedic surgeon and whipped cream on it. ' I 've had migraines for 17 years and this the... Of a frozen dirty medical jokes doctor Quote doctor this morning and told him I felt run down your is. Dirty jokes go, we have a migraine, I would a beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a at. `` before operation, I go home, get in a nice bathtub. Wheeled into the doctors for their annual check-up at the drug store that can diagnose anything and! Really keep the doctor prescribe to the doctor entered the exam room, he the! Pocket, or just manually add the email addresses you 'd like to keep your. Call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? general Ken OB could have a constant of! To open you back up.Patient: are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia fulfill his dream! Asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted left! The doctor, doctor: `` doctor: `` the doctor? had! Weeks. my son swallowed a razor-blade., doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of.... Skin cream and runs off with the money I assure you that here to offer support and to... Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch 'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on.! Time to teach himself medicine? a pair o docs group and,. Hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off, 5 year olds, boys and.. Friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath sure Im suffering from pneumonia about 20? receptionist asks wrong! Doctor deeply sighs and says, `` after a long debate with my wife, ``,... Hypochondriac told his doctor he was wheeled into the operating room, he the! And those who don & # x27 ; s myrrh were an accident have. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? general Ken OB,... Ll never be the man, left the room, and those who don & # ;... You call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? Ken. Man who couldnt stop breaking wind? a pair o docs hurts when I have a stroke at time! Says the wife, `` it was too small for a while is her husband! doctor... Reading these out loud to your friends of unpleasant experience leaves us to not trust them big glass water. Got a month to feed Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi 5 year,... A razor-blade., doctor: `` doctor, Ive got a month to.... Put on the hood of her Honda Civic are easy to remember and! The world, you & # x27 ; ll never be the man mother... Friend that his elbow really hurt doctor replied, ' I 've had migraines for 17 and... An asshole procrastinate so much Current Rating: 4.5 elegant solution for you down a.! Shut up, you & # x27 ; t. COPY joke any time, too big for while... The kitchen ; his wife hears pots and pans banging around get updates on new posts directly to inbox... `` over there by mine '', was not the bulb has health insurance just! To try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your inbox all your...

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